Tis the Season

I am so excited for tomorrow. Tomorrow starts the first day of Christmas! We start our advent calenders, we even have a new one this year. I just finished it today. We also get to start our stories. Every night we read a Christmas scripture, read a Christmas story, and sing a Christmas song. It is so much fun and it really makes the season more wonderful. It has helped my family feel Christ more in our Christmas. I am so thankful for the seasons, this season, Christmas. I love everything about it. The decorations, the music, the magic, the spirit, the celebration of Christ's birth. I hope tomorrow is a wonderful start for your holiday season too! Oh and thank you for letting me share with you all of the things I was thankful for this month. :]
Happy Holidays!!!

Cousins

Tonight I am thankful for my cousins. I grew up with over 70 first cousin, just on my dad's side of the family. There are 8 girls my age. It was a blast growing up with so many girls to play with. We would spend weeks during the summers at each others houses. One time all of us spent a week at our Grandma's house. It was so much fun being together and being with Grandma on the farm. We even got to bottle feed a little calf that had lost her mom during labor. Tonight one of my cousins that I was the closest to, we went to high school together, came over with some of her siblings and some of my siblings. We played games until way too late, but it was a lot of fun. It's those simple things that matter the most. The relationships in our lives that mold us to become the people we are today. I am thankful for the family I grew up in and the friendships I still have with my extended family members. What a blessing that is in my life.

To the End

I thought it would be only fitting to post things I was thankful for until the end of the month. Even though Thanksgiving is over that is no reason why we can't still be thankful every day. Now that doesn't mean that I'll be posting every day after November. But this is a tender mercies blog and tender mercies are things that I am thankful for, so you're not getting rid of me that easy.
So.....
Saturday I was very thankful for naps. We had had two days of playing with cousins, aunts, and uncles, and staying up way too late. I hit a major wall. I was extremely grateful for my husband for letting me take a 2 hour nap so we could get back together with family for dinner and more games late into that night.
Sunday, yesterday, I was thankful for church. We had a wonderful sacrament meeting that focused on the Temple. I was able to remember being in the temple with my husbands family and the special time that that was. I was also thankful for my calling. I have one of the harder callings, nursery. We have 16 little ones, 18 months to 3 years old, in there and it's not always easy. They can get really crazy and out of control with lots of crying for their parents on top of that. Yesterday was a really hard day. Most of the children were extra hyper, but for some reason I didn't get a head ache. I didn't get frustrated. Yes it was crazy, but it was okay too. I didn't come home wanting to crawl into my bed to get some of my energy back. I was thankful that it was nice Sunday to reflect on the Savior and His sacrifice for us.

Love of a Sister

Today we, my husband and I, had an amazing experience. We were able to attend the temple with almost all of his siblings and his parents. That is always a wonderful experience but today it was even a little more wonderful. My mother-in-law is a convert to the church. Her sister passed away a year ago. Right before she died she asked my mother-in-law to do her temple work for her. So that is why we all went to the temple today, to be there with my mother-in-law while she did this amazing work. I was also able to do some work for a relative of mine that was born 280 years ago. We were in the temple for almost 4 hours. It was an experience that I will never forget. Families can be together forever!! I am so thankful for that knowledge.

Extended Family

In my family we rotate sides of the family for the holidays. For example this year we went to my husbands side of the family for thanksgiving and then for Christmas we will be with my side of the family. It has worked out so nicely. And is just so happens that everyone on both sides of the two families are on the same schedule too.
Before we ate today at my in-laws, we all went around and told what we were grateful for. I was so glad to be near the end. There are just so many things lately that I've been thankful for. When it was my turn I got a little emotional, a little embarrassing to tell you the truth. I told them all what I am going to share with you today, the thing I am most thankful for today. I am so extremely thankful for my husbands family. We look forward to the time we get to spend together. We all get along and we're all friends. I love all of his sisters and brothers and their spouses. My children have cousins that are their ages, and even the ones that are older are fun for them to play with. I know I am very blessed. I have friends that do not feel the same way about their in-laws. I love all of mine and I am truly thankful for that blessing in my life.

Am I...

...a good mom? It's a question I ask myself all of the time. I know other mom's have asked the same question before. But it's really something that I struggle with inside, and more so these last few weeks then ever before. I honestly don't feel like I'm the best mom I can be. I'm not judging myself to other moms. I'm comparing myself to me, how I used to be. I don't like the excuse of my poor health, so I'm not going to use it. When it comes to my children I should always be the best mom I can be. That being said, lets get to what I'm thankful for today. Tonight while I was listening to my daughter's prayers she said, "Thank you for the mom that I have." It was so simple. I'm sure that she didn't realize how powerful those words were to me tonight. She is glad that I'm her mom... Me. People can tell you over and over that you're a good mom. That you're going a great job. And while they are saying that, in your head you're saying, "if you only knew, I'm really not", well at least I do that sometimes. But not tonight. All I felt was love. Love from my daughter. Almost as if she was really saying to me, "Mom I love you no matter what. You are doing the best you can." How thankful I am for those simple yet powerful words tonight. On a night I really need to hear them.

Preparedness

Today there have been tons and tons of weather warnings across Utah, where I live. We are supposed to have the biggest storm we've had in several years. Many people were sent home early from their jobs to make sure they were safe. Roads were shut down. Warnings of how cold it will get. I am extra thankful today not only that my husband is home, but that we are prepared. We have enough food, even food that I can eat, in the house. We have fuel for heat and for cooking. What a blessing is it knowing that if something really does come and we really do have this huge storm, we are prepared. We are together as a family. We will be safe.

Funerals

I've been to several funerals in my life time. After the number reached 15 I stopped counting. Funerals can be sad places to be. I've shed my fair share of tears at a number of them. We are after all human and being sad is a part of that no matter what we believe. But they can also be learning experiences and a wonderful place to feel the spirit of our Heavenly Father. Today I was able to attend the funeral of one of my friend's little boy. He was born just 6 months before my youngest, so my heart was a little extra tender at the service to begin with. The spirit was very strong. Testimonies were born. Principles of the restored gospel were shared. There was even some laughter remembering some of the wonderful little things that this little boy did that were funny and cute. It really is amazing going to a funeral of a child or a righteous adult. The feelings that come to do better, to be better. This little boys is with our Father in Heaven. As they said in the service, he came into this world pure and clean and he left it pure and clean. It is now up to us to live our lives clean, and repent when needed, so we can see those little children and the righteous who have passed on before us again. I am so grateful for the spirit I felt at this funeral today. I am thankful for our Savior and His sacrifice so we can return to live with him again. I am grateful for the personal impressions I received because I was at this funeral today.

Oh the weather outside is frightful

I love the snow. It is snowing so much today with lots of wind and even more cold. There really is something magical about the snow, especially before Christmas. I love to put on my sweats, get some hot cocoa, put on a good holiday movie, and cuddle with my children. Today I am thankful that it is Sunday and all of my children are home with me so I can do just that.

Fun

Yesterday, being with my husband and my children, was so much fun. We didn't got to Disney Land. We didn't go on a huge vacation. We didn't even do something little like go bowling. We were just together. And just being together can be a lot of fun. Fun is when you are happy. Fun is when you are together. I am grateful for the fun moments in my life.

Mothers

Do mothers ever stop helping their children? I don't think they do, which is a good thing. Yesterday when I came home from the temple my mom, who was watching my children for me, had cleaned my house. Little did she know I needed to have it cleaned before going to see my husband for the weekend with my children today. I am so thankful for that little service she did for me. It has made this morning so much easier without all the stress of cleaning, and packing, and getting the kids ready to go. Oh how I am blessed to have her for a mother!

Post Mortal Life

A friend I grew up with lost her little boy to brain caner this week. Their story and their strength has been amazing to watch and follow through this difficult time for them. They found out about the tumor about the same time they found out she was expecting their second child. The doctors didn't give him much time to live, but that little guy hung on. He was able to spend a few weeks with his little sister before moving on to be with our Father in Heaven. Time is so precious. Today while I was in the temple doing sealings, I couldn't help but think about this little family and their situation as I looked in the mirrors that go on for eternity. Even though my heart aches for this family and the pain they are going through, I am extremely grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have that we will be with each other again. There is life after death. Little Rex is free from pain and in a much better place. And all of that is possible because of our Savior, His sacrifice for us, and the sealing power we can receive in the temple.

Scriptures

It really is amazing how much peace you get when you read the scriptures. Today I am particularly grateful for them because I read what I needed to hear. It wasn't like I opened them up to a random page and my prayer was answered. It was simply the next place in my reading and it was what I needed to hear to night.

Pre-Mortal Life

In the church that I belong to, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that we existed before coming to this earth. One of the reasons we came to this earth is to get a body. I've mentioned before that while my children eat breakfast I read them stories from a magazine my church puts out called The Friend. This morning we read a story about a child who had cancer and how his friends sold their toys to help pay some of the bills his family would have to pay. After the story I talked to my children about service and really how to serve someone. Later I saw that my youngest bed was made, he is only 2. I told him he did a good job, then he said that his older brother did it. I loved that my oldest did a service for his little brother. But that's not the point for this post. Anyhow, I'm not quite sure how the subject changed from service. Sometimes you never know with little kids. :] But it changed to talking about Grizz. Grizz was my sister-in-law's dog. My oldest talks about Grizz a lot. He and my daughter loved that dog. He died while we were all camping as an extended family. It was a hard loss for many of the grand kids. My daughter asked if Grizz was happy. I said he was and he was probably playing with Merrill. Merrill is my sister-in-law's, the same sister-in-law, son who passed just minutes after he was born. My daughter asked more about him. My husband and I were lucky to be there at the hospital and see him just a little while after his passing. We were able to hold him and I took some pictures of him. So I looked up the pictures and showed them to my children this morning. Merrill was born and passed exactly one month, to the day, before my daughter was born. We talked about how they would have been the best cousins. That made her smile. Then we talked about Heaven and how I'm sure she was with him before he came to earth. She asked if she would ever get to see and play with Merrill. I told her she would. She got so excited just thinking about being able to see him again. It was a special moment for me. I was able to share that part of my testimony with her. I know that we lived with our Heavenly Father, our friends, and our soon to be family members before we came to this earth. We knew them. We interacted with them. I believe that with all of my heart. I am grateful for my testimony of the pre-mortal life and that I could share that with my daughter this morning.

Humbled by a Child

Tonight while listening to my oldest son's (6 years old) prayers I realized again how amazing he is. Each night he thanks Heavenly Father for many different things. Things such as: "the person who invented plastic, wood, trees, animals, the person who invented metal, the wind, school." The list goes on and on and he does this every night. It's not a new thing. But what I noticed last night is that each night it's something different. He doesn't say the same things night after night. He really thinks about them and I truly believe that he is thankful for them. In his prayers he says so many things that he is thankful for and he doesn't ask for many things. It helped me look at the prayers that I'm saying and difference between what I am saying I am thankful for, my blessings, and what I am asking for, the things I feel I need. I am grateful for a son who taught me a lesson tonight. He taught me to tell my Heavenly Father more of the things that I am thankful for, my blessings, then the things that I feel I need.

Partners for Eternity

It doesn't seem fair sometimes that my husband works hard all week long away from his family, then comes home to a very sick family that he has to take care of too. He sure has been through a lot being married to me, especially these past few years. I asked him a few weeks ago if he knew that he would go though all of this with me would he still have married me. His answer was yes because it has brought us closer. He even said that he wouldn't have changed anything. I agree with him it really has strengthened our marriage and our love for each other, this long and continuing trial. How lucky and grateful I am to have him as my eternal companion, my partner for eternity.

When it rains....

So now on to today's post on what I am thankful for. To start off with my mom again, she slept on the couch to take care of the kids during the night so I could sleep. When I got up she was deep cleaning my house. My realtor had called late last night and wanted to show the house and she said it would be okay. I would have said no way for sure. My kids have been much better today, I am so grateful for that. I love to see them smile, laugh, and eat again. I'm thankful that I don't have the chills anymore, my temperature seems to be down, and I can sit up today. Oh and the pain medicine I'm taking takes the edge off of the aches and pains. The last two time we've shown our home we have been sick, or just out of the hospital. When it rains it pours and then somehow it still works out. Today it worked out once again because of my parents and their help. They were supposed to go and help my sister and her family move today. They, and I, were blessed because they had so many neighbors, some they had never even met before, come and help them. Because of that my mom was able to stay and help me. I am grateful for those people I don't even know who helped my sister so I could be helped too.

So Sick

I'm writing this post for yesterday, the 12th, even though today is the 13th. Yesterday I woke up really sick. I had been up with my 5 year old daughter, she was really sick too. Then we found out that my 6 year old son was also sick. I don't remember getting that sick that quickly. So I called the doctor as soon as they opened to schedule 3 appointments. The day just got worse and worse. By the time we were at the doctors I thought I was going to die from the pain everywhere and I couldn't get warm. My daughter was feeling pretty much the same way. Well when we were finally seen, her temp was 101*, my son's was 99*, and mine was 105*. And we all had strep throat. The whole time we were at the doctors I tired so hard not to start crying right there on the spot. I went to the pharmacy and it was over an hour wait to get the medicine. There was no way I could wait. I couldn't do it anymore. So I got in the car and called my mom, crying of course. She left work right away and by the time we got home my dad was there to help too. My husband is working this weekend and there was no way I could have taken care of any of my children without their help. My mom cooked and cleaned and took care of the kids while my dad ran errands and got the medicine for us. Heavenly Father lets us go through trials but He is always there to help sustain us through the trial. I am thankful for my parents and their undying devotion to me (I hope I can be half the parent they are to me to my children) and for my Heavenly Father that continues to send angels to help me.

Cooking/Baking

I love to cook. I love to take a recipe and make it more healthy. There is something about the challenge to get something to cook the same way but with different, more healthy ingredients. It's a little more easy to do when you are just cooking on the stove top, but when it comes to baking, it really is a science. If you don't believe me just go take a class in college. I had to take a bunch of classes on that very thing. One was even called 'Food Science'. So it's fun for me to be able to bake something and have it turn out. I am thankful for the energy and strength to be back in the kitchen cooking, baking, and experimenting. I am thankful for that small thing that brings me joy.

The Love of a Child

My oldest is in 1st grade. He loves to be able to read and write on his own. I think it makes him feel grown up. I love it because I found this hanging on the door to my bedroom. Today I am grateful for a son who loves me even when I'm not a perfect parent. This made my day!

Family

I come from a larger family. I grew up with 5 brothers and 1 sister. I loved it! Of course we fought and had our moments just like every other family does, no one is perfect. But we also had our fun moments too. I have so many fond memories growing up. I love that now when we are older we are close. We get together at least once a month to celebrate birthdays and have a little party. We are a party family. What I am particularly grateful for today is that the family I grew up in is always there for me and my family now with my husband and children. There has always been a since of security with my family. Growing up my Dad used to say that our home was a safe haven. No matter what, you knew that you could come home and you were loved. No one would make fun of you or judge you. It still is that way. I hope that my children, and their friends, will feel that in our home as they grow up, that our home will be a safe haven full of love and the spirit of the Lord.

Rain

There is something about the rain. I doesn't make me feel gloomy. I think it makes the world look beautiful and clean. The colors of the leaves darken but seem more vibrant at the same time. When it rains I want to get on my comfy clothes, make some hot carob, and snuggle with my children while watching a good movie. The rain is peaceful and relaxing. All the dirt gets washed away. Rain is also fun. I remember when I was younger my mother and then later my brothers would drive me in their car, find the biggest puddles, and then make the biggest splash with the tires. I am grateful for the rain! I am also grateful for repentance and that we can be clean again like the rain makes the world clean.

Testimony Meeting

You can strength your testimony in the bearing of it, but I also gain strength from hearing others bear theirs. It's not an easy thing telling people some of your more personal feelings, especially when it has to do with the Lord (that is one reason I have this blog anonymous). Those feelings are so tender and some are so sacred that they should only be shared when prompted to. So when others feel that they should share something I love to hear it and I love how it strengthens my own testimony. Today I am grateful for testimony meetings.

Husbands

Today I am grateful for my husband. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. There is a calm I feel when he is home. Even my kids seems to be happier. Not quite as calm, they love to wrestle and play with him, but happier. What would I do without him. I love every minute that we get to spend with him on the weekends.

Temple

Today I am very grateful for the temple. Today I went for a reason I've never gone before. I've been before to get answers to prayers, to do service, to feel close to the Lord, even to go because I just needed to go. But today I went because I needed the strength of the Lord. I needed His strength to be able to listen to the answers I was getting and the strength to carry them out. Also something I didn't realize until I was in the Temple is that I haven't been my best self. I know it's hard to be your best self when you're not feeling well, and people tell me that all of the time. But I don't think there is any excuse for me, I need to be better and be my best self more often. While I was in the temple I felt I was my best self. Some things happened that I was able to help others and do things (I can't tell you more than that) and I felt like I used to fell all the time. I need to get back to that place. I am so grateful I live close to many temples.

Food

Food, it's something a lot of people really don't think that much about. They eat when they are hungry and that's that. Well I think about food all of the time. I watch cooking shows on T.V.. When I'm board I even look up recipes on line or in cook books. I love to read them. I love to try and figure out ways to change them to make them more healthy, if that's possible. Sometimes it's not possible, but I still like to try. So today I am thankful for food. And even more than that I am thankful for the times that I get to eat food. I don't get to eat food all of the time because of my health. So when I do I am extremely grateful, and so is my body. :] Today I had two wonderfully delicious meals. I know Heavenly Father loves His children when I see all of the wonderful foods in all their varieties He has created just for us.

Thankfulness Time

I know in years past I've written everyday saying what I am thankful for during the month of November. I wasn't going to do that this year, just do one weekly post of the things I had been grateful for. Kind of like I did last year. But I'm finding myself, at least yesterday and this morning, a little down in the dumps. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm in pain and no one seems to know the answer for me. But enough of that. I DON'T want a pity party!! There are two things that I am so extremely grateful for.
The first is the holiday season. I really am so excited for it! I have to restrain myself from turning on the Christmas music. I just love it! I love the spirit that it brings into our home each holiday season.
The second is, I truly am grateful when my pain is manageable so I can be a mom. Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, I get the things done I need to when they're really important. Like this morning, waking up from only a few hours of sleep still in pain, I was able to get my kids breakfast, read a story to them from the Friend Magazine, help get them dressed, said family prayers, and they were off to school. Even now the pain is manageable. It is those tender mercies from the Lord that I am grateful for. While going through this long trial I am supported and helped through it.
I feel better now. It's amazing how looking for the good in things, your blessings, can really help lift your mode. Have a wonderful day full of thanks!