Trials and Kids

Our children can go through trials too, even at a young age. My oldest son is in Kindergarten. He has a tender heart and I have loved that when ever I talk to his teacher she has had only wonderful things to say about him. Not only in regards to his learning abilities but also his character, his friendliness, his integrity, and honesty. Having his dad gone a lot has been hard. Sometimes when my son doesn't get to talk to his dad at night he'll cry while saying his prayers because he misses him so much.
This last week has been an extra hard one for all of the kids. They have only been able to talk to my husband once. I noticed that my oldest has been acting out a lot at home. It's been harder for him to mind and do his chores, but he's young so I didn't think much about it. Kids go through stages. I didn't notice there was an underlying problem until today. His school teacher called me. My son has been acting out in class. His teacher called to let me know that she needs to change some things. He wasn't listening to her and was causing problems for other students as well. I don't want you to think it was all him causing problems, other children's parents were called too. But this was mine son. Mine son who when acting out in school just needs one reminder and it's stops.
When I was on the phone with her I just started crying. She didn't know our situation at home. I explained it to her, not to give my son an excuse, but to help her understand where it was coming from. It made my heart break. I didn't notice how much he was hurting inside until I got the phone call from his teacher. Not once has he had a hard time praying when he didn't get to talk to his dad this week. It helped me realize a few things. First, that I need to take the time to have him talk to me one on one to see how he is doing and feeling. Especially those times when he is having a hard time minding. Second, My children have trails while I am having trials too. And third, I think that if I can take a day during the week and have a few hours where I spend some special time alone with each child individually, it will help them to feel more love while their dad is gone.
I wonder if that is why baby's cry sometimes when their not hungry, or wet, and are being held. Are they just missing our "Dad" who they just left?

Time

At the end of the month it will have been 6 months since my husband started his new job. The job that is 2.5 hours away. The job that has split our family up. Sometimes have been harder than others. The past few weeks have been extremely stressful. Anxieties have been building because of the separation and our house isn't sold yet. Not knowing what to do, how to do it, or how to make things easier or better was adding to the stress. Then one night an answer came to both my husband and I at separate times in separate places. 'Be patient'. It was a peaceful feeling, but also a hard feeling. Thoughts came, How can I keep doing this when there is so much stress when he is gone? How can I feel peace when I have to do it all on my own? I tried not to think of these things. I'm not as stressed as I was. Not that things are easier, it's still extremely hard being a single parent during the week. But at least I do have a husband that gets to come home on the weekends.
Then a couple of nights ago while reading the scriptures with my children more insight came. We were reading in Ether chapter 12. In this chapter Moroni tells us how Ether pleaded with his people to believe in Jesus Christ. Then Moroni goes on to tell how faith blesses the lives of the saints. Over and over again he shows examples of what faith can do. But more importantly he shows that it isn't until AFTER the trial of your faith that blessings come, that miracles happen. Reading that has helped me understand the 'be patient' answer. It's helped me find even more peace. I don't know what the reasons are that our house hasn't sold yet. I don't know why my husband and I need to go through this trial and being separated so much. All I know is that it is the Lord's time and His will, not my own. I thought I was having faith but I need to have more faith and more patients. After all it is not my will but the will of the Father that matters.

Music

Music is powerful. There are so many things that music can do. It can change your mood instantly, good or bad. It can heal your heart, and much much more. I know all of this so why did I stop listening to uplifting church music in the car? I wish I knew the answer to that. Now don't get me wrong there are many songs out there that are good songs. Songs that have a good beat, fun to dance to, and even have good messages. And in our family we love a good song to dance to! Having said that there is just something about listening to church music. The peace that it can bring instantly to a room is amazing. Ever since we started listening to church music again in the car the change in my children, and me, and been wonderful. I have more patients. My kids don't fight anymore, well at least they haven't in the past two weeks :], and a couple of days ago I heard my two oldest in the back talking about Jesus and some of the things that they had learned in church. It was that moment that I remembered the talk Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave in the October 2007 General Conference entitled, "Good, Better, Best." If you haven't heard it or read it please do. It really opens your eyes. There are lost of things in the world that are good. Then then are things that are a little better, and things that are really the best. I've used that motto in my life with the way I use my time, so why can't I use it now with music? Well the answer is, I can and I should! So that is what we are doing in my family. We will still listen to the good music that makes our bodies move, makes our lips smile, and makes us happy for a moment. But we will listen more to the best music. The music that inspires us to be better people. The music that makes us happy, lifts our self esteem, draws us closer to our Heavenly Father, helps us be better people, and music that stays in our hearts even when it's turned off. Lesson learned, now to remember it always.

Spring

I love the spring! There are so many new things growing. Granted that also means that weeds are starting to grow too. I don't really care for them that much. But we take the good with the bad, right?!
This is a picture I took of the flower blossoms that are on my magnolia tree. They are my most favorite blossom. When I look at them I wonderful what Heavenly Father was thinking when he created it. The blossoms are so much larger than most other trees. They are very pink in the middle and then white on the outside tips. It is evidence to me that our Heavenly Father loves us because of the diversity even in the smallest creations He created for us to enjoy.


What is your favorite thing about the spring?

The door is opening

Yesterday church was wonderful. I felt the spirit. Some of my little prayers and questions were answered. The door is opening a little more. I'm still working on it, because it's not an instant thing. In the Doctrine and Covenants in chapter 9 the Lord tells us that we need to work for things not just ask and expect an answer or change to come. This way we appreciate the answers when they do come. And we are able to build and gain faith while we work and wait for the Lord. It's not always easy, but it's worth it!

The Park

Things are still getting better, I'm glad to say. It isn't easy. I really have to keep my self aware of how I'm spending my time each day, and really trying not to be stressed is probably the most challenging part.

A couple of days ago things were going good. I was getting stuff done around the house because I had a client coming. In the back of my head I didn't want to have a client come that day. Then they called and changed their appointment to another day. It was wonderful, an instant stress reliever. Not too long after the phone call I had a knock on my door. It was a neighbor asking us to go to the park with them. How awesome!! I didn't have to do any more house work because my client had canceled for the day. We could just leave right there on the spot. It was wonderful, my kids and I needed that day of fun together. I am so grateful for events of that day and how we were able to have some spontaneous fun. Heavenly Father blesses us when we are striving to do what is right, even if we come short sometimes.

Getting Better

Yesterday was another great day! I had a plan when I woke up about the time I would spend in each area of my life. I read to my kids at breakfast, what a great way to start the day! I had forgotten how wonderful it was. We had family prayer before my oldest went off to school. I kept forgetting to do that. When my hubby is home we always have morning family prayer. Then we cleaned the house a little. I set the timer and decided that when it went off it was okay to stop what I was doing. I didn't have to get the whole house cleaned in one day. It was hard but I did it. Then I exercised and danced with my two kids that are at home. Boy did that feel good. We listened to church music in the car. WOW what a difference it has made already! We went to the store and not one mean word was spoken between my kids. Little times throughout the day I snuck away to study the book I am reading. Little prayers that I've had are being answered through this book. When we were at the store a deaf man needed some help. I know a little sign language so I stepped up and helped him. It's something that I usually would have done in the past but not the last little while. It felt so good to help him and I only got that feeling because I was willing to step outside of my comfort zone. I worked a little and spent some more time with my kids. It was another good day! I am going to try and keep this up because I am feeling the gap get smaller and spirit is once in again in our home.

Balance

Balance is a tricky thing, but very important. If one thing is out of balance in our lives everything is thrown off, not just that one thing. Well it's not easy for me to tell you about my out of balanced life right now. And then I remembered that I didn't start this blog to only tell when things are going good. I started it so I would remember the tender mercies the Lord sends me. And He sends tender mercies even when things are not good.
I didn't realize that I was out of balance, and that's putting it pretty lightly, until yesterday when I was talking to my hubby. I knew something was off. I've been feeling a distance between me and the Lord. I say it that way because it starts with me. The Lord is always there when I (you) need him. Looking back it was the little things that were thrown out of balance. The biggest one and first one that needed to be fixed was I wasn't spending the little moments with the Lord each day that I usually do. I was still reading my scriptures but that was it. I usually read from the Friend magazine to my children when they eat their breakfast. Then we talk about the story and I bear my testimony to them about the principal that was in the story. I stopped listening to church music in the car. That was a big eye opener to me. I have always loved that my children were good in the car while driving. Of course that is just around town. When we go on trips they are normal kids that fight every once in a while. But not when we are just driving to the store. Well lately they have been fighting so much! And It drives me crazy! There are many other things too not just with the Lord. I haven't exercised in about a month, I haven't done any kind of service out side of my home, I either spend too much time cleaning or too much time working or with my kids, and not enough time with my kids, and so on.
Last night just before we called it a night my hubby suggested that we go to the temple in the morning. It was something I had been thinking about all day but didn't know when I could or would be able to go. My hubby didn't have to leave town until this afternoon. I just assumed that it should be spent with the kids. This past weekend was our first date of the year and before that I can't even remember the last time, just another aspect of my life out of balance. It was an answer to a prayer I had it my heart.
The temple this morning was wonderful! I felt peace that I hadn't felt in what seems to me a long time. When we got home I went to the doctors, then spent some time with my children. I made some dinner and took part of it to two families that needed it, cleaned a little while the kids got ready for bed, and then before I went to bed did some studying to go along with my reading. I was beginning to feel so much better! I felt so happy!
Even when we mess up the Lord still sends His tender mercies because He loves us so much!

Words

This past weekend my younger brother played his last lacrosse game for BYU. I took my kids to watch him. They have loved going to his games. When we got in the car to go home the gas light was on. It had been on for a couple of days. I just hadn't had the time to get gas. My husband had called so we wanted to get home as soon as possible, besides we were cold from being outside for so long. So just talking out loud like I often do I said, "Ok everyone say a prayer that we get home without running out of gas". I didn't think about it again and then I heard my little girl say, "Okay my we're ready." "Ready for what?" I asked while tyring to get through traffic. "We're ready for the prayer" she replied. She had taken my words literally and I was glad she did. To be honest we really could have stopped for gas. We passed a couple of stations on the way home. I just wanted to get home to see my hubby. So I told my little girl that she should say the prayer. It was short, sweet, and with faith. After she was finished I was once again focused on my driving. When we pulled into the driveway I heard her say from the back of the car, "See we made it! Heavenly Father is awesome! We have an awesome Heavenly Father!" Her words were so true! We do have an awesome Heavenly Father. I am so grateful for my children and that my awesome Heavenly Father not only trusts me with their care, but He also teaches me so many things through them.

Zoo and Rain/Hail

Because of Easter and Spring Break we've had some cousins in town over the weekend. They stayed over for today so we went to Hogal Zoo in SLC. It looked like rain this morning and a little cold. Just before we were leaving I had some thoughts come into my head. First was to grab some winter coats for the kids, a extra sweater for me, and a blanket. I was so thankful for that!! When we got there the weather was colder so I put the coats on the kids. My sis-in-law didn't have an extra jacket for her son. I was able to give her my son's jacket to use after I put his coat on. Both were warm the rest of the day. I was grateful for the blanket. I put my youngest in the stroller. If I didn't have the blanket he would have frozen. Because of the blanket not only was he warm, but he was able to fall asleep for about an hour. We were there right at nap time. Second, I had the thought to grab my pills. Then the thought to put them in a baggie so I wouldn't have to take all the bottles. I wouldn't have had room in the stroller for the pills. I was able to eat lunch because I had my pills. I also had the thought to grab some extra food that I would be able to eat.
Now to the weather. It really couldn't have been better considering the forecast. It only rained/hailed when we were in buildings, near a building, or eating lunch. We didn't get wet. The kids were able to be with cousins and build those relationships. And to top it off we had the zoo pretty much to ourselves because of the weather. Then it rained on us the whole way home.
Tonight while I was saying my prayers I started to remember all of the amazing tender mercies the Lord had given me. Thank you for letting me share them with you.

General Conference

The Church I belong to had it's annual General Conference this weekend. Today were the last sessions. It was amazing! I felt the spirit. I felt inspired. I had prayers answered. I was taught. I am so excited for the talks to come out so I can really read, dive in, learn more, and internalize the things that were taught so I can be a better me. If you didn't get a chance to see it you can go here. It usually takes a few weeks to get it in writing to print out if you can't wait for it to come out in the Ensign magazine.