Women General Conference

The women's general conference was Saturday. It was wonderful! I was able to go to a training session earlier this year with these amazing women. I feel like I know them more personally now, so it was even more awesome to go and feel of their wonderful spirits. If you missed it you can go here. I can't wait for this weekend for General Conference!!!

Insite again

Have you ever been reading something and your mind drifts off to something else while still continuing to read? Well my mind did that tonight. It was during our nightly family scripture study. We were reading Alma chapter 34. It talks about the atonement but the insites that I gained were not necessarily the words that I read. It hit me so strong it was hard to finish reading my verses. When I was finished my daughter asked me why I was crying. This is what I told her and the rest of my family...

You know how sometimes we have bad thoughts? Like sometimes you don't like me when I get upset with you, or sometimes you get mad at [your brother]? Well Jesus never had those thoughts. He never once had a bad thought about anybody or anything. He was perfect. He had to be to satisfy the law. And then I started thinking about the three of you and how much I love being your mom. Jesus died very young. Did you know that He was only 33 when he died? I'll be 33 in a few years. That would be like me dieing in just a few years. Jesus gave up SO much for us! He loved us so much that he died very young, He had done everything He was asked to do. And all we have to do is try to be good and repent when we make mistakes. What a wonderful gift that he gave us. That is why I am crying. The spirit helped me to understand this a little more.

Atonement, a new insite

During my daughters dance class I pulled out President Eyring's book again. I want to share with you what I read and understood from his pages.
In the chapter Choose to be good, on page 69, he suggests to "read the scriptures to try to feel what the Savior feels". I really like that thought. I have never read the scriptures in that why before. I love that. I want to read the scriptures like that. Think of the possibilities of how we can come to understand our Savior better and draw closer to Him.
He goes on to quote 3 Nephi 17:14, "And it came to pass that when they had knelt upon the ground, Jesus groaned within himself, and said: Father, I am troubled because of the wickedness of the people of the house of Israel. " President Eyring says"...I can begin to feel the pain the Savior felt for sins, your and mine. His groan within himself came after he had paid the price for us, after the Atonement. His being troubled was not some abstract grief for our sins and those of the house of Isreal. His was real pain, recently felt, as he took upon him the sins of the world."
Isn't that amazing! I love how President Eyring has learned so much from this scripture and then just taught me about it! I've had pain so intense that I wasn't able to breathe for 5 minutes. My arms and legs started to go numb. My fingers curled up and I could not open them because of the lack of oxygen. There are some moments when I can almost feel that pain again. To be honest it can be scary. Now having gone though that I can not imagine what the Savior went through for you and me. To bleed through every pour in his body because of the pain. And now he groans because he can remember that. He is around the wicked and remembers suffering for the sins that He can see them committing! Reading this is an 'Aha' moment for me. I don't want the Savior to see me when I am doing something I shouldn't be and remember what it was like to suffer. I caused the pain once I don't want to cause it again. Oh how grateful I am for the Atonement and that I CAN repent for my sins, my little or big mistakes that I make each and every day because I am not perfect. But there is joy, we can become perfect if we keep trying our best and repenting when we make our mistakes. Because of our older Brother, our Savior, our Redeemer, and what He did for us.

An Angel

Today was a crazy day for me. I had a doctors appointment at 11 am and the baby sitter could only watch my kids until noon. I also had a women coming over to my house just after noon for some help with her computer. And my oldest gets out of school at noon. It takes me about 20 minutes, give or take depending on traffic, to get to the doctors. The whole way there I was praying that he would be on time so I could make it back to my kids in time. I was really stressed out to say the least.
When I got there there were 4 other women in the waiting area. After the doctor came and took one back for her appointment I asked the other 3 if they were waiting for the same doctor as I was. They were and one had been waiting for an hour. Her appointment was supposed to be at 10 am. So I said out loud, "Well I've have to come back another time. My sitter can only watch my kids until noon and I live in ____" One woman, the one who was next in line who had been waiting for just over an hour, said I could take her spot. I looked at her with shock. I had never seen this woman before in my life and she was offering me an amazing gift. I turned her down, and she persisted telling me how she understood about sitters and children because she had little kids of her own once. I asked the other women there if it was okay with them. They too understood and said it was okay. I was very humbled. If I had been one of the other women I don't know if I would have felt the same way. I probably would have been upset. These women had no idea what my day was like. They didn't know how stressed I was. Heavenly Father had answered my prayer through this woman, this angel sent to help me. Heavenly Father knows us. He loves us, and He cares about us!

Exercise and listening

Growing up I was athlete. I even played some college basketball. Some people use the analogy of exercising your spirit like you would your body, I understand it. It makes sense to me. If you don't use your muscles then they get weak and you can't perform to the best of your abilities. If you don't read your scriptures and go to church your spirit becomes weak and you won't be able to listen or hear promptings.

Well I have gained an even deeper understand of this concept. I have been reading, To draw Closer to God, by Elder Henry B Eyring. I have just love learning from his book. If you haven't read it, read it! The first three chapters are all about exercising or practicing how to listen to the promptings from the Holy Ghost. Elder Eyring quotes President Marion G. Romney when he talked about how we can obtain and keep the guidance of the Spirit (Holy Ghost). It is, according to President Romney, a simple 4 point program: Pray, Study, Live righteously, and Give service. I want to share with you what happened to me when I took part of this 4 point program and used it, practiced it, in my life. It was the first step, Prayer. More specifically praying for those who teach you in church. It's something that I have done in the past. But it wasn't until I read this part of the book that I understood it and have tried to pray more diligently for the teachers and speakers and for the spirit to teach me. It was amazing the difference I felt in church this last Sunday. I will admit that sometimes it's hard to feel the spirit while trying to keep three small children reverent. This Sunday was different. I still had the children but I had diligently prayed for the speakers and myself to have the spirit so that I might learn and be touched. It worked! It was easier for me to listen to what they were saying as I was helping my children. My heart was opened and I heard and learned what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn. It was an amazing experience! I can't wait for next Sunday and to keep practicing on how to listen so that I can receive the guidance I need.
I will keep you updated on the other steps as I practice them. In the mean time, read the book. :]

The 6 Destructive D's

Our lesson this last Sunday was wonderful. It was what I needed to hear and it helped me to reflect on my every day. It was given from a talk by Elder Kevin W. Pearson Of the Seventy entitled, "Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ".
In this talk he talks about the "6 Destructive D's—doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief."
He says, "First is doubt. Doubt is not a principle of the gospel. It does not come from the Light of Christ or the influence of the Holy Ghost. Doubt is a negative emotion related to fear. It comes from a lack of confidence in one’s self or abilities. It is inconsistent with our divine identity as children of God.
Doubt leads to discouragement. Discouragement comes from missed expectations. Chronic discouragement leads to lower expectations, decreased effort, weakened desire, and greater difficulty feeling and following the Spirit (see Preach My Gospel [2004], 10). Discouragement and despair are the very antithesis of faith.
Discouragement leads to distraction, a lack of focus. Distraction eliminates the very focus the eye of faith requires. Discouragement and distraction are two of Satan’s most effective tools, but they are also bad habits.
Distraction leads to a lack of diligence, a reduced commitment to remain true and faithful and to carry on through despite hardship and disappointment. Disappointment is an inevitable part of life, but it need not lead to doubt, discouragement, distraction, or lack of diligence.
If not reversed, this path ultimately leads to disobedience, which undermines the very basis of faith. So often the result is disbelief, the conscious or unconscious refusal to believe.
The scriptures describe disbelief as the state of having chosen to harden one’s heart. It is to be past feeling."
Our teacher talked about how these are a cycle and if we do not stop the cycle it can keep going and going until we don't have any faith at all.
As I pondered this in class I realized that the cycle is a moment to moment thing for me. I can be having a great day and then something happens, maybe I start feeling a little sick, then I get scared that I'll have an attack (Doubt), then sometimes I get discouraged thinking I'm never going to get better, and on and on it goes. Then other times I can get distracted by something that is good but the best thing for me to be doing at that moment. It is only when I invite the spirit to come back into my life, my home, that I can get off the cycle of the Destructive D's. I found that it doesn't take a gigantic effort. It can be simple. The first thing of course it to realize that I'm on the cycle. Then there are some little things that I do. I turn on music quite often. Listening to the Hymns or other uplifting music can invite the spirit very quickly. Or I read a scripture or an uplifting quote from a Prophet or Apostle. Sometimes I even stop everything and read for a few minutes to get refocused. It is these little things through out the day that really help me back on the path of Faith. Which path are you on, the Destructive D's, or Faith?

Kids

Tonight we were about to say family prayers when my mom stopped by. With out hesitation my oldest son said, "Grandma you've been caught in Prayer!" Then he laughed. It was really cute and funny. It was also an interesting thought. Don't we all want to be caught in prayer?

A True Friend

This morning while I was putting on some makeup my thoughts turned to a dear friend. She is one of those friends that no matter how long it's been since you've talked or seen each other you can always pick up right where you left off. For a few years she was far away going to Law School for her husband. Now that she is closer we talk more often and we get together more with our families. She is a true kindred spirit.
While thinking of this wonderful friend of mine I remember what she did for me, a tender mercy from the Lord I had forgotten about. A couple of weeks ago I had a really bad day. I was in a lot of pain and feeling sick. My husband came home and gave me a blessing and that helped. I was given peace. It's hard sometimes going through trials especially when you feel that no one knows, except for Heavenly Father of course, what you are going through. So on this really hard day of mine, just minutes after my husband had to leave to an important meeting, my friend called to see how I was doing. I tried to lie like I do sometimes when I'm asked the question, "How are you?" My learned response is, "Fine" even if it's not true (something I know I need to work on). But she is one of those friends who know me well and know when it's just an answer and not really the truth. So we talked and talked, probably for an hour. I don't know if she'll even know how much that helped me to get through the day, helped my spirits, and how I felt the love of the Lord by sending me this wonderful friend at a time that I needed one.