Saturday, November 17, 2012

Pain Again?

It has been a long time since I've had intense pain. And by that I mean the kind of pain where it hurts to breathe and I have to sit or stand or hold my body in just the right pose to be able to bare it, but I can still breath through it. Not that the position that I am in is comfortable, it just makes it a little easier to bare the pain.
Well last night was the most pain I've had in a very long time. In fact I think almost 6 months. The night before last I had pain. It was a lot but I was able to lay in my bed and kind of sleep here and there through it. But last night it was almost unbearable like it had been before I had my last surgery. At one point I remember being so cold I grabbed a blanket to throw around my shoulders while I knelt on the ground facing the couch resting my forehead on the seat cushion. That helped for about an hour, and after I had been up until 4 am I had to go and wake up my husband. I needed a blessing. After he administered one, I left our bedroom to once again try and deal with the pain as much as I possibly could. Around 6 am I was able to go to my bed, lay down, and get some sleep. It wasn't the worst pain I've been in through this health trial that I've been going through for the past four and a half years. But it did remind me of two very powerful things that I have gained a better understanding of.
The first one is that the priesthood works. It truly is the power to act in God's name on earth. And when we have faith the blessings promised to us through the priesthood will come to pass.
The second one has to do with the Atonement. I don't think anyone on this earth can truly understand what it ment for the Savior to suffer for all of our sins, our pains, our every hurt feeling, and it was everyones all at one time. The pain was so excruciating that He bled from every single pore on His body. I don't claim to understand it, but when I have been in so much pain that I couldn't breathe and I started to loose the feeling and the ability to move my hands and feet and I started sweating leaving puddles of water as I lay on the ground, I can't help but think of Him. I can't help but wonder, and at the same time be extremely humbled at that act He and only He alone could preform so that all of us could return to live with Him and the Father. I have come to a deeper point of Thanks for what He suffered for me. Because I know that I couldn't have suffered the way that He did. To say that I am grateful for the Atonement just dosen't seem to cover it. It is the world's greatest blessing.

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