Confrontations

Confrontation, it's a word that makes some people cringe and others it doesn't bother. For me, at least I thought, it was a word that didn't bother me. When I was in college and I had a problem with a roommate I would go and talk to her. I didn't have a problem with it. I like to speak my mind, in a nice way of course. I liked to talk about the problem, solve it, and be done with it so we could move on. Well this last year I've had a few horrible, terrible, make my soul shrink confrontations with a person. It was so bad in fact that I would get, and still do, anxiety attacks just thinking about having to talk to this person. I've prayed and prayed to have love and understanding for her. Help so that I can communicate with her. Anything I could do to make it better, I prayed for. Well twice this past week I've had to talk to her. The first time my blood starting pumping and I could start to feel the anxiety coming, and then it was a pleasant conversation. She said what she needed to. I listened and reflected. She understood my side of it. Things were just fine. It was almost a weird feeling. I was more that just a little thankful for it. Then tonight another conversation took place. My blood started pumping, but not as fast as it would in the past. I listened and reflected and she didn't understand. I talked calmly trying to help her see that I understood and then tried to say my side. Then when I thought that things were going to take a turn for the worst, the person who was there listening stepped in. He helped her to hear what I was trying to say. He helped her to understand my side of it. I am so extremely grateful that I was helped. I know it was divine intervention. The stress alone from trying to communicate with this person has almost been unbearable. So to have someone tonight rescue me was a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father. He knew I needed the help. Now I see that I need to pray that I can communicate better. I need be able to say things so that what is in my head will come out of my mouth, with kindness I hope. I know I have a problem, and I'll work on it. And right now I'm just thankful.