Comfort

I've been struggling emotionally for the past few days. Lots of doubts, frustrations, and others. Wow, that was hard to say. It's hard to admit when I'm struggling. Maybe it's human nature or just me but for some reason I want everyone to think that I'm strong, that things are just fine. I don't really have any problems, well at least I don't want anyone knowing I do. But in order for me to tell you about the tender mercy I received last night I have to admit it. Admit that I struggle. Admit that life is hard sometimes, especially when you can't see what the next step is or what you're supposed to do. Last night I even spoke these words to my husband, "I wish I could see the future. I wish that someone would just tell me how everything is going to turn out and when."
After my husband and I hung up the phone I got into bed. I was so tired and starting to come down with a cold, and didn't feel like doing any reading before I fell asleep. I looked down and saw the May 2010 edition of the Ensign, the General Conference edition. I've been reading/studying it a lot lately and I was in the middle of a talk. The thought came, 'just pick it up and finish the talk. You'll sleep better if you do'. So I grabbed it and opened it up. But my highlighter wasn't marking the talk I was in the middle of. I instantly thought that my kids had probably found the magazine and played with it. It was on President Thomas S. Monson's closing remarks of the Conference. When I was looking at the talk I thought, "Well it's short, but nothing is ever really said in the closing good bye talk." Can you see how down I was, so much negativity. Thank goodness the Lord hasn't given up on me. Another thought came, "Just read it." So I did and boy was I amazed! In the second paragraph President Monson shared a scripture and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." If anyone needed to hear that scripture at that moment it was me. I was filled with peace and comfort. I don't know how my highlighter got put onto that talk but I know that Heavenly Father knew I was struggling and I needed to hear what that scripture and what the Prophet had said in those closing remarks. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who answers our pleas even when we haven't made them yet. If someone really came and told me what was going to happen right when it was to happen and what the whole plan was I wouldn't need faith. I wouldn't need to "trust in the Lord". I know how important it is to have faith and trust that the Lord knows what is best for you, I just lost my way for a few days.