Comfort

I've been struggling emotionally for the past few days. Lots of doubts, frustrations, and others. Wow, that was hard to say. It's hard to admit when I'm struggling. Maybe it's human nature or just me but for some reason I want everyone to think that I'm strong, that things are just fine. I don't really have any problems, well at least I don't want anyone knowing I do. But in order for me to tell you about the tender mercy I received last night I have to admit it. Admit that I struggle. Admit that life is hard sometimes, especially when you can't see what the next step is or what you're supposed to do. Last night I even spoke these words to my husband, "I wish I could see the future. I wish that someone would just tell me how everything is going to turn out and when."
After my husband and I hung up the phone I got into bed. I was so tired and starting to come down with a cold, and didn't feel like doing any reading before I fell asleep. I looked down and saw the May 2010 edition of the Ensign, the General Conference edition. I've been reading/studying it a lot lately and I was in the middle of a talk. The thought came, 'just pick it up and finish the talk. You'll sleep better if you do'. So I grabbed it and opened it up. But my highlighter wasn't marking the talk I was in the middle of. I instantly thought that my kids had probably found the magazine and played with it. It was on President Thomas S. Monson's closing remarks of the Conference. When I was looking at the talk I thought, "Well it's short, but nothing is ever really said in the closing good bye talk." Can you see how down I was, so much negativity. Thank goodness the Lord hasn't given up on me. Another thought came, "Just read it." So I did and boy was I amazed! In the second paragraph President Monson shared a scripture and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." If anyone needed to hear that scripture at that moment it was me. I was filled with peace and comfort. I don't know how my highlighter got put onto that talk but I know that Heavenly Father knew I was struggling and I needed to hear what that scripture and what the Prophet had said in those closing remarks. I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father who answers our pleas even when we haven't made them yet. If someone really came and told me what was going to happen right when it was to happen and what the whole plan was I wouldn't need faith. I wouldn't need to "trust in the Lord". I know how important it is to have faith and trust that the Lord knows what is best for you, I just lost my way for a few days.

Christ-Like Love

In my ward there is a little boy who was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's been sad to see him slowly get worse. He is now in a wheel chair. He turned 12 a few weeks ago and was ordained to the office of a deacon, so he is now able to pass the Sacrament on Sundays. It has been so heart warming to watch him. Someone made him a little carrying tray to put the bread and water on so he can maneuver his chair and not worry about spilling it. To see how the other deacons treat him is also special. They are patient with him as he backs his chair up to get in line. They assign him the same place to pass every Sunday so it is easier for him. The people who he passes the sacrament to are kind to him and understanding. Watching him now for the past two weeks has been wonderful to witness. I truly see pure Christ-like love shown to him every week. The spirit is so strong in that meeting. I am blessed because I have been there to witnesses this love.

Ingegrity

In the church that I belong to there are organization for everyone. There is Priesthood and Relief Society for the men and women. There is primary for the younger children, and there is Young Men's and Young Women's for teenage kids.
In Young Women's there is a program called Personal Progress. The girls set goals and work on projects to help them be better, to become better. I loved it when I was young.
My niece, for one of her projects, is putting together a book about Integrity. She asked all of us in the family to write down experience that we've had with integrity. I would like to share with you what I wrote back to her.
Integrity is an important quality to have. To be honest and stay true to your standards is a hard thing to do in the world today. The world says that it's okay to cheat a little hear and there as long as you don't get caught. The world says that morals don't matter anymore. But it all does matter, and integrity is something we should still have even as we get older. The first experience I thought of when K asked us to write about one was when I was playing soft ball just after I got married. I was on First base. The next batter hit a ground ball between second and third. It was an easy ball to field and I was thrown out, or so I thought I was until the umpire called me safe. I really don't think he had seen what had happened because I was out by a long ways. I didn't hesitate I just started walking to the dug out while the other team still complained. They stopped after I sat down, and the game continued. My teammates looked at me kind of weirdly. I hadn't thought much about what I did. It was an instant reaction. I knew I was out even if I was called safe. After I sat down I started to think about what had just happened. Everyone was shocked at what I did, but really to me it was just the right thing to do. I didn't question it. I felt at pace. I felt good about what I had done. I had been taught by my parents how to have integrity when I was young. Just like saying no to drugs if you already have your answer, or have your mind made up, then it makes the decision easier to make.
Now as a parent I am trying to teach integrity to my children. One of the most recent experiences I've had with integrity and my children happened a few weeks ago. It was parent teacher conference at my oldest son's school. After all of the normal updating and telling me how he was doing with his progress, his teacher told me how impressed she was with him. She knows that my son has problems with sugar and doesn't give him candy like the other kids. But when kids bring birthday treats she doesn't stop them from giving him the treats. She said that she had been watching him all year long to see what he would do when he was given a treat. She said that without fail he would say 'thank you' and either give the treat to someone else, or put it in his pocket and tell everyone that he couldn't have sugar and his mom would trade it when he got home. He wouldn't eat it. She was impressed that at such a young age he would be able to resist the temptation of candy and do what he had been told to do, take it home to trade it for a treat he could eat. There have been times when he has eaten a treat but he always tells me when he does. He has the most integrity of any person that I know. Just by watching him my testimony of integrity increases. I am so grateful for his example to me and I hope I can have the integrity that he does.

Conference Talks are Out!

Yesterday I got my copy of the talks from the last General Conference. I love going back and reading the words that were spoken. Last night I read Elder Dallin H. Oaks talk from the Priesthood session entitled, "Healing the Sick." It was a wonderful talk and it helped me to reflect on the many Priesthood blessings that I've been given through out my life. I felt so much peace as I remembered some of those blessings. Truly there are still miracles happening today. Not only have I seen them, heard about them, but I've also experienced them. If you haven't read this talk, go and read it. It's wonderful!

Blessings

The past few days I feel like the heavens have been open and down pouring blessings upon me and my children. My husband has been on call which means he's been gone all week and will be gone the rest of the weekend.
I'm not sure why, I'm still trying to figure it out, but my health hasn't been very good the past few days. Mostly in the afternoons and evenings. I've been so stressed out with all of the things that have been on my plate this past week too. Looking back I see that the only way that I made it through very thing was because of the tender mercies I was given by a loving Heavenly Father.
One specific day of many tender mercies was today. I, with my mom and sisters and aunt, gave a baby shower for my younger sister who is expecting. I had to have all three of my children because my husband was gone. We made it to the shower, which from 9:30 am to 11:00 am. Things went really well and I wasn't in any pain. Then we had to get more food ready for another shower from 1:00 pm to 3:00 pm about 45 mins. away. We were a little late but it all worked out. By this time I was extremely tired but still no pain. My kids played and were wonderful. After that shower we went to a store to see one of my sister's jewelry that they had just picked up. Then it was off to get a free Mother's Day cupcake at another store. My children said it was yummy. By the time we got home it was a little past dinner time. So I got my children some dinner and checked the messages. Someone had called about my house. I called them back and they wanted to come and see it in an hour. I frantically started cleaning. My mom, dad, and two brothers came over to help too. It wasn't that messy but I needed the help. The people ended up coming to see our house in 35 minutes! There is no way that I would have been able to finish in time. It was a great showing, and still no pain! It was a crazy and very busy day. There were even more little things that happened that I won't go into. Just know that I know I was helped by Heavenly Father.

My New Life

My New Life
I love this story. I've followed Stephanie's blog since just before her accident. She inspires me, what an amazing woman with amazing faith. Enjoy!

"Your Happily Ever After"

My wise husband suggested to me to read one of the talks from this past conference. One that I didn't hear already because it was given in the Young Women's meeting. It was President Uchtdorf's talk entitled, "Your Happily Ever After". It was a very cute talk. I'm sure the young women loved it. He talked about the princess stories that start with "once upon a time" and end with "And they lived happily ever after." You should read it if you haven't already.
Some of the quotes that I loved the most are these:

"Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all--eternal life--and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own "happily ever after". But such a blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because you desire it. It comes only though understanding who you are and what you must become in order to be worthy of such a gift."

"Sandwiched between their "once upon a time" and "happily ever after", [the princesses] all had to experience great adversity... Adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger and experience joy."

"You will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength."

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life's story will develop."

"Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life. Let me repeat: how you react to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at your own "happily ever after"."

"We all search for happiness, and we all try to find our own "happily ever after". The truth is, GOD KNOWS HOW TO GET THERE! Trust Him enough to follow his plan."

"You are princesses, destined to become queens."

I needed to hear all of that and I'm a grown woman. One more quote from one of my favorite movies, Anne of Green Gables, Miss Shirley says, "Tomorrow is a brand new day with no mistakes in it." So today I wake up with no mistakes yet and plead for a second chance from my Father in Heaven. A second chance to Endure my trials better with a better attitude, and with more trust to follow His plan for me instead of trying to find my own way.