Humble Pie

My health has been on the down swing the last few weeks. When ever this happens it's really hard to have a positive attitude. I get down on my self a lot. Then I get down on my knees and ask for help, answers, and direction. And this time with the release of my calling I've been struggling with so many more and different emotions. I almost feel lost going to church, not because I've lost my testimony, I just don't have a million things to do anymore. I just go, sit down, and wait for the lesson to start. Sometimes I even feel disconnected from everyone. Today was one of those days. I could feel it coming so I went out of my way, even though I didn't feel good, to say hi to people and truly care about what they said in return. To be honest it did help. But the thing that helped the most was the lessons and testimonies that were shared. I felt some of my prayers were answered, and I was humbled.
One woman in Sacrament meeting talked about the difference between enduring something and enduring it well. Boy did I need to hear that! I really haven't been enduring this trial well the past few weeks. Then in Sunday School we talked about Joseph who was sold into Egypt (Genesis 39-45). Talk about a man who endured his many trials well! To be sold as a slave by your brothers. And the scriptures say that God was with him, that's amazing! To have God with you you have to have a good attitude. God doesn't dwell with those who murmur and complain all of the time. I sure need to be more like that. We also talked about how you could look at Joseph's life and see God's hand in it. God was able to save so many people because of Joseph. That part of the story helped me to look at my life. To see God in my life. It helped me remember some things about my trial. The last few priesthood blessings I've been given, I was told that I could help many people because of the knowledge I've gained thought this trial. It truly is amazing how many people I have come in contact with who have struggled with their health the same way I have. Then I remembered how I've felt when I was able to help them. To give them hope. If I have to go through something so I can help others then it isn't so bad. Now I just have to remember that on my harder days.
In Relief Society the lesson was on the Book of Mormon and the power that you get when you read and study it. With my calling I had the opportunity to teach and that made me study more. The past few weeks I haven't been studying, just reading. The lesson reminded me that I need to study it more. Then I can call on the powers of Heaven for help because I'll have the spirit with me more. I'll be more ready to hear when the answers come. After all the Lord never said it would be easy, He only said it would be worth it.